I love my job but hate being a working mum!

I love my job for many reasons, one being that I only have to work term time if I want. This meant that I had two wonderful weeks off over Christmas.  I spent nearly every single minute with Luca and it was absolutely perfect.  We spent lots of time in our pj's just playing or snuggling whilst watching films together.  As a working mum this is definitely what I miss most, just hanging out with my little dude.   I also felt the stress seep out of my every cell after about three days. Honestly I felt like I had complete control over our house again, the wash basket has never been so empty. There was no rushing around and trying to get housework done on an evening and preparing for our next day of work, which is my usual routine.  I haven't felt so relaxed in a very long time.  I had really got my mummy mojo back and our days together were crammed full of fun with our house being clean and tidy.

Not only that, during our two weeks off together Luca had begun to sleep through the night!  Yes you heard me correctly. For the first time in his two and half years in this planet Luca started to consistently sleep through the night and I started to feel refreshed and energised (ok this had started to happen just before my time off but that's not the point). I felt like this new sleeping pattern was begin to cement itself during our time off and I was definitely becoming accustomed to rising at 7:30 each morning after a full nights kip.

Two days before the end of the Christmas break I started to sense a slight feeling of dread creeping in. Now that I have my new job I never get up feeling like I don't want to go to work, like I said I love my job.  But, I recently posted about the overwhelming feeling of mummy guilt I have been suffering with and I just knew that would raise it's ugly head again by the end of that first week back at work. 

  I was worried that the new sleeping routine may tail off again once.  I was worried that after Luca had finally got over his phase of begging me not to go to work every morning that this too may start again.  I was dreading the general rush that comes with every day I have being a working mum as I try to cram in everything that needs to be done in the few hours I have to do them.

I was genuinely dreading him going back and for good reason it seems.

By the end of my first week back to work we were back to asking me not to go to work on a morning.  Back to telling me he doesn't want to go to the childminders, even though when he gets there he's off without so much as a goodbye! Back to broken sleep! Back to a broken mummy!  This motherhood lark can be crap at times. 

However, I have decided to actively tackle all of the crap.  I have made plans.  Meal plans and household chore plans. 

 I have also made a visual timetable for Luca this week to help him know where he is going every day and who will be looking after him, as although we have a routine it is a relatively complicated one for a two year old, even I struggle to remember who's where and when.

My advanced planning does seem to be working and I have certainly eliviated some of the pressure I've felt previously. So although I am once again exhausted and stressed, I don't feel quite as stressed as I did before Christmas which is always a good thing.

Hopefully Luca's timetables will help too and he'll get back to sleeping through the night again.  I can at least dream, right?